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I've used this counsel many times when helping people in hurtful relationships, but I don't think I've ever taught it publicly before. At least not at this length.

Our X242 model of being church puts us in close relationship with others, by design. We're all in various stages of learning to walk in the grace of the Lord, and it's not unusual for our rough edges to show. But to be in redemptive relationship we need to know how to love even those who are hurtful to us.

I don't know of any current situations in our churches where this counsel is pressing. But my prayer is that we can learn to do this in our personal relationships, and that, together, we can learn to be healthy redemptive communities of faith.

{THE FOLLOWING IS A TRANSCRIPT OF THE ABOVE TEACHING}

​But what if they're abusive? Shouldn't you set boundaries?  

Last week I talked about how to work through conflict. Today I want to talk about how to work through conflict with people who are abusive towards you.  

Now, here's the tension I have with this. It's popular to set boundaries with those who've hurt you. Too often when I hear people talking about setting boundaries, it sounds like they're willing to break relationship with someone. They see that as their only option. They're going to break relationship with that person because that person is not a safe person.  

And that's not the godly way. God is always about redemption. But it doesn't mean that you can't set boundaries.  

Today. I want to give you a picture of how you can look at it when you are in relationship with someone who persists in being abusive and insulting and hurtful towards you — how you can set boundaries with them without just breaking relationship.  

Today I want to explain a two-door method. But first I want to give you the scriptures that have informed this picture for me, because for me, if there's no scriptural wisdom in it, we might just be following the winds of this age in our thinking. 

1 CORINTHIANS 5:9-11
1 Corinthians 5:11. Paul's writing to the believers in Corinth, and he's talking about a specific situation, but how he writes about this helps me to understand God's wisdom for this. And so I won't go into the detail. You can read 1 Corinthians 5 and see what the detail is that he is talking about. But here's what he writes in verse 11: "I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister" — meaning a believer, someone in the faith — "I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister, but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolator or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people." 

Now that slanderer term in some of your Bibles, it will say reviler or railer, and there's one translation that actually calls it verbal abuser. Slanderer.

Many of us are in relationship with people who are verbally insulting and abusive, and I'm not talking about just kind of rough with you, but like actually, they use their words to harm and we're trying to figure out how can I be in redemptive relationship with that person? How can I just let them keep on coming back to me? You talk about trying to make peace, how to work through the conflict with them, and you're thinking, I've tried, this person just isn't trying to change.  

Paul says that if there's someone who's trying to relate to you as if they're a follower of Christ and they persist in these ungodly ways — yes, slanderer, someone who uses their words to denigrate, someone who uses their words for harm — if they persist in that, he says, do not associate with anyone who does that. You must not associate with anyone who does that. It says, don't even eat with such a person. 

I think that's key. And this will play into this two-door analogy, this two-door method that I'm gonna explain in a little bit.  

2 CORINTHIANS 2:6
Now in second Corinthians, Paul is writing the next letter to them and he references that counsel he gave, not to associate with a specific brother — in that case because of sexual immorality but I'm extending it to all the things that he named, including slander. But just to get a sense of his heart on why it wasn't breaking relationship, but it was redemptive, we read in 2 Corinthians 2:6: "The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now, instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore to reaffirm your love for him."  

Now, the assumption here is that this man received the shame from his community, that they disassociated with him, that he felt ashamed, not just by their disassociation, but by his behavior. And he was penitent. Paul's writing back and saying, okay, now that it's done its purpose, now that it has produced Godly sorrow in him, reaffirm your love for him. Restore relationship with him.  

2 CORINTHIANS 7:10-11
And then He says something a few chapters later in chapter seven that also adds to our understanding of how Paul was seeing this godly sorrow. And he says, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." He says, "See what this godly sorrow has produced in you. What earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."  

And so Paul sets up, he says, if someone is a slanderer, narrowing in on that one, or abusive or a drunkard — whatever all that paints into — if someone is abusive toward you, don't associate with them so that they'll feel ashamed. 

But if they respond with repentance, reaffirm your love for them. Godly sorrow brings repentance and repentance bears fruit, and that's the goal of this. That's the goal of redemptive correction, redemptive relationship when working through conflicts with people who are abusive toward you. 

2 TIMOTHY 3:1-5
In second Timothy, Paul's writing to Timothy, a pastor who he had left in charge of believers, and we read in chapter three, verse five, he says, "Mark this, there will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves..." Now, think of the people who are abusive toward you. See, if this doesn't describe them: "...people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness, but denying its power." He says, "Have nothing to do with such people."

Have nothing to do with such people. This is the word of God. 

2 TIMOTHY 2:24-26
But right before he says that, in chapter two, he has said in verse 24, "The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed in the hope that God will grant them repentance, leading them to a knowledge of the truth" — this is always the goal — "that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil who has taken them captive to do his will."  

This is the goal. Redemptive relationships, not just protective; redemptive relationships. 

2 THESSALONIANS 3:14-15
In 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15, we read this very succinctly. "Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them in order that they may feel ashamed."  

Now, I know in our culture we relate to shame as the worst thing possible. We should never shame anyone. But honestly, scripture says that there is a time when someone's behavior, their choices are so bad that they should be ashamed of themselves. The difference we've made in popular psychology — the distinction we've made — is that shame is this root identity that I am worthless, that sort of a thing. There's a conversation to be had with that, but scripture says if someone persists in living a disobedient, worthless-of-respect life, don't associate with them so that they may feel ashamed. We need to renew that, not with harshness, with love. This is all about redemption.

In fact, we see this, "Do not associate with them in order that they may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer."  

These are the things that — this is coloring what I'm getting ready to tell you about this two door method of making peace, working through conflict with people who are abusive towards you.  

MATTHEW 18:15-20
Just a couple more here. Jesus himself, Matthew 18, says, "If your brother or sister sins go and point out their fault just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church. And if they refuse to listen even to the church" — and the church is not talking about like, if you go to a thousand person church, you have to stand up and tell all 1,000. Like think who are the people that this person is in closest relationship with. In our setting, it's the microchurch. It's the 10 or 12 or 15 or six or whatever it is. — "Tell it to the church. And if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Truly, I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven. Whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven for where two or three gather in my name there am I with them."  

The goal is nothing but redemptive. If you read "whatever is bound on earth will be bound in heaven, whatever is loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven" — check your heart — are you saying yes, we are going to bind this person out of heaven, or is your great desire to loose him from whatever has him captive, to loose her from whatever has her captive? The goal is redemption in this. 

LUKE 17:1-6
In Luke 17 Jesus says, "Things that cause people to stumble, are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones" — meaning the believers — "one of these [believers] to stumble. So watch yourselves." And then he says, "If your brother or sister sins against you rebuke them."

Rebuke them. Redemptive rebuke. We're gonna see this in the two-door picture, this two-door analogy. "If your brother or sister, sins against you, rebuke them. And if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive them."  

You must forgive them. I'm gonna teach further on that, Lord willing, next week. You must forgive them.  

Then the apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith." In other words, man, that sounds hard. And Jesus says, "Well, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can do it. You can do it." 

MATTHEW 7:17-20
Matthew 7:20.Again, I'm just telling you what has influenced my thinking on what I'm getting ready to explain to you. 

Verse 17. "Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit." Verse 20. "Thus by their fruit, you will recognize them."  

If someone is bearing bad fruit towards you, if they're insulting or they're abusive, they're destructive in your life, recognize the fruit. They are not a good tree in your life.  

1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-15
And then finally, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul is talking to married people and he is addressing a specific concern and I'm borrowing from his wisdom in addressing that and saying this has colored my wisdom in this other way that I look at it. And he's talking to married people and he talks specifically to a situation where someone is married to an unbeliever. 

It says, "To the married, I give this command, (not I, but the Lord)" — the Lord has said this — "a wife must not separate from her husband, but if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband." There's that reconciliation, redemptive emphasis. "And a husband must not divorce his wife." 

Then he says, verse 12, "To the rest I say this" and he qualifies "(I, not the Lord)." In other words, I don't have a specific command from the Lord on this. This is the wisdom that has been given me. He says, "If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her." You can imagine the pain in the situation, and some of you experience it, no doubt. "And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to keep on living with her, she must not divorce him." It's not about breaking relationship. "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband." He says, "Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy" because they belong to a family where Christ is honored, even if not unanimously, mutually. "But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances." Why? "God has called us to live in peace."  

God has called us to live in peace.  

ROMANS 12:18
And so what I'm pulling together from all this, and I'll also reference last week I read Romans 12 where it says, "If it is possible, as much as depends on you live at peace with all people." And here Paul says, even in a marriage, if the unbelieving spouse decides to leave, let them. Peace isn't just chasing after and saying, "Please! Please! Please!" Peace sometimes says "So be it. I am at peace with your decision to disconnect from me," because God has called us to live in peace.  

We don't just keep on going after conflict. But neither do we quickly break relationship.  

And so this is this tension that it leaves me in, that it leaves us in. If we apply ourselves to the wisdom of scripture, of what God has said about relationships and about working through conflict, this creates tension for us. But what I'm gonna describe to you will only make sense if you shift in your thinking from "protective" to "redemptive." 

We've become so preoccupied with protecting myself from further pain, protecting myself from anything that's not edifying in my life, protecting myself from bad people. Yeah, if someone's coming up and they're punching you every single time, protect yourself. Block yourself. But if your only focus in this is to simply block yourself, to simply protect yourself, to wound them first so they can't wound you back. If that's your goal, if it's simply protective, this won't make sense.  

But if you focus on the heart of Christ, the heart of God, which while we were yet sinners, he came and he died for us. This is how we know what true love is. He died for us while we were yet sinners. He came to us when we were insulting and abusive toward him. When we were destructive toward his children, toward those he dearly loves, he came and called our name and said, "I'll forgive you if you come to me. I'll forgive you. Come to me."  

And so that's our model. If we allow the Holy Spirit to remind us of that love of Christ, that love of God toward us, we shift from simply being protective and we become redemptive. 

And so with that as the background, here's how I've come to give advice to people. This is what I think about in my life, but this is the advice I've come to give to people.  

TWO DOOR METHOD.
Think of your life as a room. And it has a door in it that this person has been coming through — and by the door, I mean this is how they walk into relationship with you. And that door is framed by, characterized by abuse, by insult, by wounding. They walk in through that door with blasphemy. They walk in through that door with insult, with slander, and they walk through and it's full on abuse. It might even be physical abuse, whatever it is. They walk in in order to hurt. And up until now that door has been open. You've left it unlocked. They get to come in all the time, and you're saying, I don't know what to do because I don't want to break relationship with them . And so how can I close the door to my mom, my dad, my sister, my husband, whatever it is, how can I close the door to them if God's called me to love? 

And the way that I think about it is you close the door and you tell them there's another door. Imagine yourself, you go to them and you say, "I will never open this door to you again. If you come to this door with insults and abuse, if you come to this door with intent on doing violence toward me, I will not open this door to you. I am locking it. I will not open this door to you anymore. It is closed and locked for good. It will not be opened to you. 

"But there's another door that I will leave open to you till the day I die, in Jesus' name, till the day I die. That door is respect, honor, gentleness, kindness, humility. If you come to that door, I will let you into my life.

"I'm not closing the door on relationship with you. I am deciding that I will no longer associate with your evil behavior toward me. And my goal in this is that you would be set free from that sin, that you would be set free and that we would be restored to a healthy relationship. 

"And if I have wronged you in any way, I invite you to apply the same thing to me. My goal is humility and kindness and gentleness towards you. But I'm talking to you about how you've wounded me. This door is now closed.  

"But there is a door that's open, and the way you find that door is you walk through remorse, you walk through regret. It's not for me to decide what that looks like for you. I'm just saying for you, you walk through this remorse, this regret, this repentance, this sorrow of what you've done to me. When you walk through that, that will produce fruit in you and I'll see it. That will produce fruit in you that looks like gentleness and kindness and love and humility.  

"If you come to me through that door, it is open to you. It's open to you. We can be in relationship. But as long as you come to the other door, this relationship will not go further. That door will never be opened to you again. My prayer is redemption in this relationship."

So this is how I've come to think of it, and I hope that's helpful. It's helpful to me. It's helpful to others that I've explained it to. God's heart is redemptive. He wants to give you that heart. It's his heart. He says, "Be like me. Be like me. This is what I did toward you, be this for someone else."

So choose the redemptive restoration, the redemptive relationship, even with people who are right now very abusive towards you. God can set them free from sin. That's the gospel. He can set them free from sin. Not just forgive their sin, but set them free from their sin. But it might just take someone like you explaining the horror of their sin and letting them come face to face with it rather than just tolerating it. 

This calls for sacrifice, but not sacrifice of personal agency. It's sacrifice of vengeance and vindictiveness. It's sacrifice of what we think of as justice. It's sacrifice of that. It's not sacrifice of personal agency. You maintain your personal agency. You decide for yourself, "I am going to do this." 

In fact, you take back that personal agency where they've been taking it away from you. You take it back and you bow it to the Lord Jesus and say, "Lord, I will do your will, no longer the will of the enemy. I will do your will in this. Lord, redeem this person. Save them from their sins. And Lord, I forgive them."

I think I'll talk about that next week. I hope this is helpful to you.  The wisdom of God. 
​Amen. 

This Week's Teaching | Prayer

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{TRANSCRIPT}

Today, I want to give you encouragement that you can resolve the conflict. You can work in a healthy manner through the conflict. It's not asking too much. You can do this.

Proverbs 27:17 is a familiar proverb to all of us. "Iron sharpens iron." And it talks about how, as iron sharpens iron, so a brother sharpens a brother, a friend sharpens a friend, a spouse sharpens a spouse. Iron sharpens iron.

It's human to be in conflict, and it's human to not do conflict well, but it's possible to do conflict well. It's possible to follow the wisdom of God and actually do conflict well.

Today I want to present some principles that I've learned by the wisdom of God from scripture that guide me in working through my own conflicts with others, but also as I help others work through conflict with them.

1. COMMIT TO THE LONGER CONVERSATION
Commit to the longer conversation. Slow down. Just slow down the conversation. Listen long, speak less.

Proverbs 18:2 says that fools delight in airing their own opinions. Stop just speaking to air your own opinions and start listening to understand what the other person is trying to say. This is difficult. We all want to just jump in, but just think in terms of commit to the longer conversation. You're not just trying to quick jump through it. It's a long conversation. Slow down. Listen slowly, not quickly. Listen long.

Proverbs 18:15 says that the ears of the wise seek knowledge. Listen to understand. Not to prove your point. Listen to understand.

2. ASK MORE QUESTIONS
I was talking with someone yesterday about helping her and her husband just understand conflict, and I said one of the most guiding principles for me is found in Proverbs 18:13 where it says "it's foolish to give an answer before listening to the question."

If you apply that to yourself, if you apply that to how you lean in toward conflict and say, I'm not going to play the part of the fool, I'm not going to give an answer before I even listen to the question, it'll slow down your conversation and you'll stop missing each other. You'll stop missing the key points. You'll listen for what is the question behind what the other person is saying? What is the offense? What, whatever that is. But it's foolish to quick jump in and give an answer before you even really know what the question is.

Lengthen the conversation and ask more questions.

3. GUARD YOUR HEART
Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart for it affects everything you do." Guard your heart.

When you're in conflict with someone else, you need to know, what do I want out of this? What am I defensive about in this conflict? Is my heart desiring an inequitable outcome? Or is my heart really desiring what is fair and honest and true and equitable in this conflict? Am I just in this to win? Am I in it to win it? Or am I in this to win the person? To restore relationship, to resolve the conflict? Above all else, guard your heart. It affects everything you do.

Jesus said, "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Matthew 12:34, Luke 6:45) If you don't guard your heart, you will find that your mouth, especially in conflict, your mouth spews venom. It spews awful things. Things that you would never sign your name to and, and hold up to the world and say, this is what I want to be known for. You find yourself saying things that you hope are uncharacteristic of you. But the reality is that if it's coming out of your mouth, it's in your heart. Start by guarding your heart.

Proverbs 18:21, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." You have the power in the words you speak toward the other person to give them life or to give them death. There's power in your tongue. Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks and that mouth can speak life or death.

Make sure that what's in your heart when it overflows, overflows toward love, toward peace, toward compassion, toward gentleness and kindness, and showing consideration. Guard your heart. Let it desire an equitable outcome. Not just to make sure that you're not hurt, not just to make sure the other person gets what's coming to them.

Ask yourself, am I trying to win this argument or am I trying to win the person? Am I seeking vindication or am I seeking restoration? Guard your heart.

Proverbs 19:11 says that it's to your glory to overlook an offense. Guard your heart. Ask yourself, am I allowing offense to take root in my life? Am I speaking from an offended position? And to be sure there are so many things that you can be rightly offended by. There are offensive things in this world. This isn't to say let nothing be considered as offensive. This is saying don't let offense take root in your heart, because what will spew out will be this venom. Make sure that you're not just speaking from an offended position, but choose no offense. 

"A person's wisdom yields patience. It is to one's glory to overlook an offense." Choose patience. Guard your heart.

And so choose the long conversation. Ask more questions and guard your heart for it affects everything you do.
And then love deeply.

4. LOVE DEEPLY
Romans 12:9-21. I can't say it better. Don't skip past this. Even if you've read this. Listen again: "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil? Cling to what is. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath. For it is written: 'It is mine to avenge, I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Love deeply. That's the key. Let everything you do when you are in conflict with someone, choose love. Let everything you do be the overflow of love, the desiring of that person's good, even over and above your own. Devote yourself to one another considering them as more important than you.

I know that doesn't seem fair. I'll talk another time about how do you remain in relationship with someone who's abusive, but today to resolve conflict, be devoted to one another in love. Let love be sincere. This is the wisdom of God. This is the wisdom of God.

Commit to the longer conversation, ask many questions, guard your heart and love deeply, and you can work through the conflict.

Now, I know this is a hard word and it's easy to dismiss it. There's plenty of worldly wisdom that runs counter to this. So much so that what I'm talking about sounds counterintuitive if you've been listening, to a lot of the the babble of today where people are guessing at things. What I'm talking about is choosing the wisdom of God, the wisdom of the ages. The one who created it all understands you better than you do yourself. Who understands what's working in the other person's heart, who sends his Holy Spirit and his angels to come and minister to those who will inherit salvation.

The God who is able to take your best efforts and your best desire, and multiply them as prayers in Jesus' name to actually work out an effective resolve and resolution to the conflict you're experiencing. And so above all this, even though it may feel counterintuitive, trust God. Trust God, work through the conflict.

To work through conflict is an act or demonstration of faith and obedience. To refuse to work through conflict is an act of faithlessness and disobedience. It's a hard statement, but I believe it. And I mean it for love.

God will heal what's broken in your relationship, if you both lean into him, if you both follow the wisdom that he's given. If one of you doesn't, yeah, you'll both suffer the fruit of that decision, but at least you'll be one who followed God in it. So don't be the one to give up.

Trust God.

Choose the longer conversation. Ask many questions. Guard your heart. Love deeply. Trust God.

​My prayer is that it'll go well with you, and that your relationships will be restored and the conflicts will be resolved.

This is the wisdom of God.

Amen.

• Pray for your family, and that you would be a generous blessing to them in all things.
• Pray for your neighbors by name. If you don't know their name, let love lead you in getting to know them.
• Pray for your enemies by name. And if there's an offense, name it. If you have wronged them, make it right. Ask their forgiveness. If they have wronged you, forgive them from your heart. Pray for their redemption.
• Pray for our brothers and sisters who live under persecution.
• Pray for those who lead microchurches: Mike, Shirley, Dan, Nate, Trevor, Roger
• Pray for our disconnected and disillusioned brothers and sisters who have left conventional church. Pray that they would discover the life and encouragement of what we're doing. 
• Pray for opportunity to plant and encourage more microchurches, and that those who are feeling called would be strengthened and encouraged in faith to take the step.
• Pray for pastors and leaders of conventional churches who are trying to discern vision for this season: Should they rally the troops around the familiar mission of growing the worship service, or lean into the process of disentangling the church and focusing on true discipleship?

This Week's Teaching |  Prayers

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Wow. I recently heard this story and was so encouraged! So inspired. And so invigorated about this ongoing emphasis that we need to be in the scriptures! This is why we do what we do!!! 

I hope I've done the story justice. It's powerful. Especially the punchline. So cool. Be encouraged. If you're not reading the scriptures for yourself, just start. Set aside a time today and start reading the scriptures for yourself. I pray that God meets you there. I believe he will.

Here's the scripture I reference in the above teaching: "The Holy Scriptures...are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God a may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (1 Timothy 3:15-17)
​
​Amen!

This Week's Teaching | Prayers

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​Our culture lusts for certitude as if it bolsters truth. It must make us feel more secure. Like, if we believe something hard enough, it must be true. Or, at least, we can claim it as "my truth." And if anyone wants to challenge us, we can use certitude like a billy club to shut up our critics — including our inner critics.

But certitude is just as apt to make a display of foolishness as it is to reveal brilliance. In fact, it would appear that many use it to short-circuit difficult conversations or the tedious process of critical thought. 

It's easy to see it in politics, but does it not also describe the theological conversations that have long divided the Church? Certitude asserts itself as faith and knowledge, but what if it's more like lust than faith? What if it's a desire for certainty where God wants mystery?

Certitude means "absolute certainty or conviction that something is the case," typically about things that can't be proven. That can describe faith to a certain extent, which the Bible calls "confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." (Hebrews 11.1) Let that describe our certainty and conviction about the essential things. But when it comes to opinions about peripheral things where the Bible is vague, ambiguous, or silent, we need to practice meekness, gentleness and humility — and with confidence that what God has said is enough.

1 Corinthians 4.6 says "Do not go beyond what is written." The context of that is to stop dividing the church around different teachers and leaders. It certainly applies to our context. 

Let's renew that conviction. Start being aware of how much you crave certitude. Name it and renounce it. Choose conviction about foundational truths, and allow humble curiosity about all the other things — but stay humble and gentle in it. If we give ourselves to this, the light will shine brighter on those truths that are essential.

Amen. 

Pray for the ministry of X242. Pray that in 2023 we are able to minister the gospel in new communities through the planting and encouragement of new microchurches. Pray for wisdom and discernment.
​
Pray for those who are sick and in need. May it be said of us that "there were no needy persons among them."

Amen!

This Week's Teaching | Prayers

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I believe that if you commit to sowing these three investments this year, they will reap greater love, joy, and peace in your life. Now, to be clear, these aren't "the gospel," but they are "of the kingdom." What I mean is, you won't find these three things commanded in scripture. But you can find them bearing good fruit in the lives of people who take them seriously. And "by their fruit you will recognize them."

When Paul was giving counsel about something in 1 Corinthians 7, he was careful to clarify which was the Lord's command and which was his own judgment. He said, "The Lord, not I," and "I, not the Lord." But he also said with confidence that he was speaking as one who by God's mercy was trustworthy.

​I hope you hear this in the same way. If I speak with any authority in this week's teaching, it's the authority of God's wisdom, even if not with his direct command. And I believe that, by God's mercy, the counsel is trustworthy. You will do well to make these three investments. 

I'll let the video explain the details, but the three investments are as follows:

1. Daily Scripture
2. Microchurch
3. Spiritual Direction

If you're already part of our X242 network, you're already doing the second investment. If you're not yet in a microchurch, do it! You will not regret it! And especially if you also do the first and third.

Blessings for 2023!

Pray for the ministry of X242. Pray that in 2023 we are able to minister the gospel in new communities through the planting and encouragement of new microchurches. Specifically, pray for God to move in the following states where I believe there is a credible interest. Pray that a door to effective ministry would be opened, and that we would be positioned to respond well to it.

1. Arizona
2. Florida
3. Indiana
4. Kansas
5. New York
6. North Carolina
7. Ohio
8. Oregon
9. Pennsylvania
10. Tennessee
11. Virginia
12. Washington
13. Wisconsin

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Also remember those among us who are sick and in need. May it be said of us that "there were no needy persons among them." In fact, already this week we've been able to help a widow with her pressing need. James 1:27 in action.

Amen!