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In Romans 12 we read, "Keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

When there's a revival, it's tempting to measure "spiritual fervor" by what we might call ecstatic experience. Ecstasy in the Spirit is beautiful — that overwhelming joy that we experience when we meet God in a profound way, or are renewed in a time of dryness. We burn bright, we feel the heat deep within. It interrupts life, as it should. But then there is also such a thing as quiet intimacy in the Spirit that we experience in the dailies of life. As Keith from one of our churches said to me last week, "An intimate walk with God is unsurpassed by anything in this life." Amen.

I've long thought about this as four stages of a fire. It's helpful to think of "revival" as a bonfire. It serves a wonderful purpose of burning off things that don't belong. But we don't live in the bonfire. We don't do work with the bonfire. In fact, there's a stage that precedes the bonfire, and one that should follow it, and another that too often follows that. 

In this week's teaching I explain all four stages of fire. This is important, not only to our own personal spiritual lives, but to the work of the church. May it be for your encouragement as you posture yourself humbly before the Lord, ready to repent quickly of anything that needs to be burned off, while content to burn more slowly, glowing evenly throughout the daily responsibilities of life.

​(Watch above while reading below.)

<TRANSCRIPT BELOW>

There's a story of a fourth century Christian man who went to an older, well, venerated Christian, and said, "How can I get closer to God? I say, my daily prayers. I'm in scripture. I go to church." However, he would've said it then. And he said, "What can I do?" And the old man stood up and lifted his hands to heaven, and all ten fingers became like flames, like lamps of fire. And the old man said, "If you want, you could become all flame." 

I don't know if that literally happened, but I do believe crazier things have happened. I believe that in Luke 3:16, John said that Jesus would come and baptize us with the Holy Spirit and with fire. I believe that in Acts 2 that happened, that the Holy Spirit was poured out on the believers as they were meeting in that upper room. And there was a sound of like a blowing wind. And then there was these flames of fire, tongues of fire that came down and rested on each head. And they began to speak in different languages. It was this evidence that the Holy Spirit had been given in a new way. I believe that.  

In my life there was a time that I called out "Jesus" — in my brokenness I called out "Jesus" and I fell to the floor and the Holy Spirit washed over me and transformed me. And I was like he lit my heart on fire. And my heart became all flame that day and it transformed me. No one would've said, my fingers were glowing, but I think the people around me would've said my heart was on fire. It transformed me. I believe things like that happen.  

Right now. We have Asbury Revival, and I think it's like a bonfire. It's like the people are watching these students calling out "Jesus." They're falling on the floor, and the Holy Spirit is just filling them and renewing them, and it's like a bonfire. It's an incredible — and I mean this with respect — it's a spectacle, an incredible demonstration of what God does when we call out to him. But it's a bonfire moment. The bonfire moment is not where we live. Sorry, I got a dog right here. I'll try it this way.  

The bonfire moments are impressive, but it's not where we live. And so I've thought of it this way. It's an analogy of a fire. We have the dry wood that's stacked up in a way that can catch fire. And that dry wood is the conviction of sin. It's all the sins and the silliness that we live with (and the terrible sins too, not just making light of it.) But it's these things that we live with. It's the convictions of sin, of worthless things. They get stacked up like dry wood, dead, ready to burn, and it gets stacked up in our life, and that might come through hearing the gospel preached. 

In the Great Awakening of the 1700s, they articulated what they had seen. They observed that there was conviction, followed by conversion, followed by consolation. And the conviction was where, through prayer and the scripture and preaching, they became aware of their sins. The conversion was when they turned their life over to the Lord. And they poured themselves out to God. The consolation was when the Holy Spirit gave them assurance of their salvation through an experience of God. And also just this sense of love and joy and peace: the consolation of the Holy Spirit. So conviction, conversion, consolation which I believe we're seeing now.  

In the dry wood moment, it's that conviction, that sense that I have things in my life that aren't right. And that might be through hearing preaching. It might be through broken relationships. It might be through opening up scripture. It might be through prayer. It might just be that God's doing something in your life and you're saying this can't continue.  

Then there's this bonfire moment when the Holy Spirit for some reason just sparks it. It's like you hear the gospel that one time or you become aware of your need in a special way, and it just sparks the dry wood and it just becomes a bonfire. It's an impressive spectacle. People come running. It is so hot, so bright. It's a bonfire. It's cool, and I think we're seeing that in this revival.  

But you don't live in the bonfire. You don't do work with a bonfire. The only thing a bonfire does is it burns up the dry stuff and makes a spectacle a cool spectacle. But that's all it does.  

Where you really start to get to work is with the glowing embers. When it dies down and becomes a campfire and then dies down a little bit more, and you can stick a burger over it. You can cook on it. And I believe that's where God wants us to live. 

Not in the bonfire moments. They're great, but we live with the glowing embers where we can actually cook over it. The glowing embers is the life in Christ. It's the life of the Holy Spirit that wakes up in the morning and devotes ourselves. It's the glowing embers that continues what we could call the spiritual disciplines — deciding that I'm going to devote myself to certain things. The dedications where there's no bonfire that anyone would pay special attention. We just do the things in the privacy of our own home. And this is my prayer is that as the bonfire becomes the glowing embers, that we don't lament the loss of a bonfire, but that we celebrate the glowing embers and seriously get to work.  

There's a fourth stage, which is the dying coals. And sometimes we can see this in believers who've been around for a long time or who have disconnected from fellowship with other believers. A coal by itself just dies. 

My prayer is that some of us who have started to die — like we're just the dying coals, our faith has grown cold, we're not in fellowship with others — that we would come back and, if there's sin in our lives, come back to the bonfire. Let the bonfire ignite. That's my prayer over you. Let the bonfire ignite and burn up all that junk, the worthless stuff. So you become glowing embers again. The glowing embers happen in fellowship. If you've pulled away from fellowship, you've got to move toward it. Move toward God, move toward other believers. Lay your sins out before him. Let him burn them up. Let him burn them up. 

Be encouraged.
​Amen.  

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Almost two weeks ago the chapel service at Asbury University broke out into repentance and prayer, and it kept going. Immediately people starting calling it a revival. And people like myself starting weighing in on whether it was a revival or not. 

I didn't. Not right away.

I just think it behooves us to go slow in declaring such things. The pressure is great to judge quickly and decisively. This world rewards that. But quick judgment isn't usually our best discernment.

As I've said elsewhere, I believe there is such a thing as holy skepticism and cynicism — the kind that is devoted to honoring God by pursuing truth and understanding with hope, but with humility that suspends judgment, even at the risk of being misunderstood. I mean, most people think of "skepticism" as "suspicion" or "distrust" or "doubt." It can be coupled with that, but it's not necessarily that. For me it's just a decision to be thoughtful in declaring judgment one way or the other about something.

So I chose to just watch and observe. I watched the sermon that kicked it off. I watched documentaries of past revivals at the same location. I watched the videos of what's going on there. And then I recorded my thoughts about it. For whoever is watching and listening.

I'm honored and humbled to have your attention.

​(Watch above while reading below.)

<TRANSCRIPT BELOW>

The temptation is to weigh in quickly. Whenever someone says there's revival, we want to weigh in quickly and help to decide what's going on. I had the same impulse, the same instinct when I heard about the Asbury Revival because people right away were saying revival has hit, and the evidence that they were giving was that chapel went long and it shows no sign of stopping. That was the evidence.  

And I wanted to know, okay, what are they talking about? Is it an unusually responsive worship service that keeps on going or is it something else?  

As I think through revival, revival is bringing back to life something that has died. That's the best way to think of revival. Now, looking through scripture, you don't have revivals, not by that language, but you do have an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. We see it in Acts 2, of course. We see it in different places. And you see it in the Old Testament, you see where God works with his people to bring them to a special sensitivity to his working. And it comes through repentance, a laying down of my life for the Lord. And it comes through all sorts of demonstrations of that repentance.  

So when I heard about Revival, "revival has broken out," I wanted to know, okay, are we talking about worship or are we talking about repentance? 

I have said for the last couple years, revival is coming. But I also said, it won't be the revival of hype and hubris. It won't be the revival of big concert worship services with motivational speakers. It won't be that. And it won't be the revitalization of institutions, even small institutions like churches. And it won't be the restoration of America to Christian values only. Like if that happens, that's a good thing, obviously, but that's not gonna be what revival is. It won't be who wins the presidency and all that.  

I said, revival is coming, but it's not going to be the revival of hype and hubris. It's going to be the revival of self denial and my willingness to lay down my life, lay it down, to lay down my life in service for and surrender to and submission to Jesus. The willingness to lay down my life in love for Jesus, for my brother and sister, and even for my enemy.  

That's what revival will look like. That's what I said a couple years ago — a year and a half ago probably I said it the first time publicly. And so I was looking at this Asbury revival and I think that we all — if you listen to the influencers, the social media and all that — everyone has to say it is or it isn't of God. And I just think it behooves us to go slow on it. Why do we have to know right away? Why can't we just watch? Why can't we just observe? And that's what I've been doing.  

I'll tell you my first instinct these days, like I've taught here, my first instinct is skepticism and cynicism about human nature and never cynicism about God. 

So God can do this, absolutely. But my first thought was, okay, are we calling something revival because we so much want it to be revival or is it really revival? And just knowing human nature tends to rush in and declare things that aren't necessarily.  

And so I withheld judgment. I suspended judgment. I looked openly. I called out my own cynicisms that bumped over into negative cynicisms. And as I've looked at it I've found joy that God is really doing something.  

The marks of it — ironically, there's not people like me leading the thing. There's not great preachers. If you watch the sermon that started it off, it's a classic bad sermon. Sorry whoever you are. But the cool thing is the guy started off by saying — and throughout it said — I don't want you to remember me. So I'm not even saying his name (even though I remember that it's Zach). 

And the music. Well, it's like, not great. Like there's not people who have made a name for themselves by being great presenters or great worship people, and all that, it's just God doing something. And that is cool. That is one indication that God is doing it, and it's not just another fabrication of us. 

So part of my understanding of this is that, I've led worship thousands of times — two or three thousand services, I don't know. I've led worship way more than I can count, for close to 30 years. And I've preached more sermons than I can remember. And I know what it is — now I'm not saying this with cynicism. I'm saying this from a behind the scenes perspective. 

Please hear me. In the same way that my wife can bake in a way that causes me to feel emotions. I can make music in a way that causes people to feel emotions. That doesn't make it bad. In fact, the church is saying to the worship musicians, please help us feel something that we are perhaps too inhibited to feel on our own. Please help us feel something. And so I believe that the music can do that, and we can actually give our attention to things as musicians. We can actually create services that cause the church to feel and respond and become especially attentive to God and what he would have us do. And that's not bad. And so I know what it is to do that.  

I also know what it is to stand in front of a big crowd and talk to them where you could hear a pin drop, like they're just hanging on every word. And I know what it is to get a crowd to all shout hallelujah. I know what it is to get a crowd to all get on their knees and pray. I know what it is to get people to come forward. Like I know what that is. I'm talking from behind the scenes. There is a thoughtfulness to it that doesn't make it wrong. It makes it good. It makes someone a good speaker. It's like we don't show up to people who haven't formed their thoughts or don't know how to make a persuasive case. Why would we listen to them?  

And so from that, from the behind the scenes thing, when I hear that there's a revival, I go, is this just a really good music service where we're singing the prayers to God? And that's great. It's my prayer every time I lead in worship. It's like, "Please, Lord, cause people to respond to you."  

And so is it just a prolonged example of what thousands of churches experience every Sunday? Is that all it is? Or is it something else? And I wanted to know, is it just someone who, man, he's got a gift to present in a compelling way to motivate? Is it just that?  

And as I have looked at it, it's not that. So it's this revival, not of hype and hubris, but a revival of self denial. And a willingness to lay down my life for the Lord, for my brother and sister, and even for my enemy. And I believe this is the love of God being poured out onto, and out through us.  

Now here's my prayer. It's not gonna go on forever. This service at some point, for some reason, it won't be going anymore. It's cool that it is going. It's just that's not where you live.  

My prayer is that the same emphasis, the same attentiveness, the same sense of God's presence, the same desire to be poured out before God will move into the living room. That it'll exist where we make our decisions about how we talk to our family, how we treat each other, and what we put on the TV, and how we entertain ourselves. And all the things that we do when we're in the privacy of our home. The escapes, the habits.  

My prayer is that there will be a great purification in our hearts as we lay down our lives, and that it'll be in the living room. And my prayer is that whether people continue to gather in large groups or not — like, I think that can be a beautiful thing — but my prayer is that all across the world, we will see fellowships, house fellowships, people gathering together, just gathering to share a common meal, to open scripture, just to let it speak to them, ask questions of it, to pray together, and to love each other in genuine fellowship. Ah, oh Lord, please.  

This is my prayer that this revival will break out into that. Not because I have any stake in it. It's what I'm giving my life to these days, but not because I have a stake in it, but because I believe that will be the great witness — not to build new churches, not to throw great concerts, not to grow empires , but rather to become people of the Holy Spirit, people of the Word, people who love God with all we are and love our neighbor with all we have.  

Oh Lord, may that be — may that be the fruit of this revival.

​Amen.
​

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In last week's teaching on forgiveness, I read a parable from Matthew 18 where the king forgives a man, then that man refuses to forgive another man, so the king "unforgives" the first man. And Jesus says that's how God will treat you if you don't forgive your brother or sister from your heart.

If that's not jarring, we’re not paying attention.

And if that doesn’t create tension, we’re not thinking. Because doesn’t it contradict what we've been taught about forgiveness? Is it not true that our sins are separated from us "as far as the east is from the west?" Will God really "unforgive" us if we don't forgive someone else?

You might not like my answer. But I think it's the best answer.

< BELOW IS A TRANSCRIPT OF THE VIDEO ABOVE > 

Will God really unforgive you if you don't forgive someone else? Because it sounds like that's the case. But I don't think we really believe this. I want to talk about how to really understand it.  

Last week we read Matthew 18, where Jesus tells this made up story, a parable, a made up story in order to make a point. And in this story he talks about a king who wants to settle accounts with his servants and he calls them in and one comes in and owes, like in our terms, three or four billion dollars to the king. And the king says, "Pay it up." And the guy says, "Be patient with me. I'll pay it all back." And the servant's master took pity on him. The king took pity on him, canceled the debt, and let him go.  

But then that servant went out and found another servant who owed him like $10,000 in our terms, and said, "Pay me back." And that servant said the same thing: "Have patience, I'll pay it back." And the servant who had been forgiven the great debt said, "No!" And threw him into jail until he could pay back everything.  

And when the other servants saw it had happened, they were indignant. They went to the king and told him, and he was angry. And he went back to that first servant and he said, "'You wicked servant. I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you?' And then, in anger. the master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed." 

And then Jesus says this: "This is how my Heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."  

I don't think we believe that.

Maybe Jesus is just using hyperbole. He's just exaggerating it. Just trying to get our attention so that we can be scared and then go, "No, just kidding. I'll forgive anything. You don't need to worry about it." Like we think that there's something about that, that is not true because it doesn't line up with some other things that we've come to believe about the gospel. That "if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just, and he will forgive us our sins." Absolutely true. But if we don't forgive someone else, he'll unforgiven our sins. That causes me tension. It should cause you tension. If you haven't ever thought that through.  

Will God really unforgive you if you refuse to forgive your brother or sister? 

In the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6, "Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. For if you forgive other people, when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." 

Is that true? Is it true? 

Matthew 7:1-2. "Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  

Do we believe that?  

Luke 6:36-38. "Be merciful. Just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven, give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured [out] to you."  

Do we believe that?  

James 2:13. "Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment."

Do we believe that?  

So if we went to Jesus and asked him the question, "Will God really unforgive me if I refuse to forgive someone else," I believe Jesus would turn the question around and give it right back to us: "Will you really refuse — will you really refuse to forgive someone else when God has forgiven you?"  

In other words, can someone who refuses to forgive someone else really make a heartfelt appeal for forgiveness? Can someone who refuses to show mercy to their brother or sister really make a heartfelt appeal for mercy? Is that really a possibility? Will you really refuse to forgive your brother or sister when God has forgiven you so freely? So patiently? So generously? 

As I was looking at this and reading through the scriptures around this, I came across this series of thoughts in John's first epistle, first John, and it's talking about love. And I think as we listen to how he writes about love, it adds some understanding to how we can think about forgiveness. Because it's filled with just as many hard sayings, things that I would say, I don't think you really believe. I don't think we really believe it because it doesn't nestle in nice with our evangelical gospel — not saying that gospel is wrong, I'm just saying it doesn't nestle in nice with it. It doesn't play nicely with all of our doctrinal nuances.  

If we read First John, we read things like this: 1 John 2:9. "Anyone who claims to be in the light, but hates a brother or a sister, is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going because the darkness has blinded them." 

1 John 3:10. "This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God's child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother or sister. For this is the message you heard from the beginning, we should love one another." 

1 John 3:14. "We know that we have passed from death to life because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer" — a taker of life — "and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need, but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth. This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence." 

1 John 4:7. "Dear friends, let us love one another. For love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love, does not know God because God is love... This is love. Not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another... if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is made complete in us... God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world, we are like Jesus... We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister."  

As I reflect on this, it applies to the whole topic of forgiveness, of mercy, of love. It's your choice. You can choose to live without love. You can choose to live without mercy. You can choose to live without forgiveness. It's your choice.  

But if you choose to live without love, you will live without love. If you choose to live without mercy, you will live without mercy. If you choose to live without forgiveness, you will live without forgiveness. It's your choice.  

But it is your choice. You could choose to live with love. And if you do, you will live with love. You could choose to live with mercy. And if you do, you will be one who lives with mercy. You could choose to live with forgiveness. And you will be one who lives with forgiveness. It's your choice. It's your choice. 

So if we ask the question again, "Will God really unforgive you if you refuse to forgive someone else," and if we let Jesus turn the question, "Will you really refuse to forgive someone after God has forgiven you," we can say this: If you don't step out of your sin, you are still in your sin — be that lovelessness, hatred, mercilessness, harsh judgment, bitterness, revenge, lack of forgiveness, whatever the sin is — if you don't step out of your sin, you are still in your sin. You are still in the dark. You are not in the light. You are not in Christ. You are still in your sin. 

And yet. Yet.

There is hope because with God turning from sin is always just a momentary flip. A decision: I'm going this direction, I'm going to repent. I'm going to go this direction. I'm no longer going to engage in the sin. I'm no longer going to cherish revenge. I'm no longer going to replay the bitterness. I'm no longer going to hold this over that person's head. Today, right now, in this moment, I turn from that. I confess it as sin. I repent from it. Even if it's difficult.  

Even if I catch myself saying, "It's going to take a while, I can't just forgive right away," I'm going to confess that as sin and, even as I fall on my knees to God and say, "Please have mercy on me. I've been bitter. I've refused to forgive. I've been harsh — because I've been hurt — but Lord, please have mercy on me. Show pity on me."  

Even as I do that, as I turn from sin and make my appeal to God, I say the same to the person who has wronged me: "I have mercy on you. You are forgiven. This is my stepping into the light, out of the darkness, into the light, out of the sin, and in toward holiness. I forgive you. I forgive you, I release you. I release you."  

This is the glory of the gospel. The great news of this good news.

1 John 1:9. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  

This is something you can bank on. Just make sure that you are not Yes and then No. Make sure that you have left your life of sin. God will not be mocked.  

So, will God really "unforgive" your sins if you don't forgive someone else?  
Will you really choose to live in your sin when God has forgiven you?  

Be encouraged. Choose well. Forgive quickly.
​Amen. 

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Have you ever said this?

• "I just can't forgive yet. I'll get there, but I just need more time."
• "Maybe I just overreacted. Don't worry about it." 
• "I could never forgive that person."

​​All three are indications that you don't have a biblical understanding of forgiveness. In the above teaching I explain a better way to think about it and do it. May God use it to heal your broken hearts and broken relationships.

{THE FOLLOWING IS A TRANSCRIPT OF THE ABOVE TEACHING}​

​There's three reasons why we have difficulty forgiving. Number one, we think of forgiveness as more than what it really is. Number two, we think of forgiveness as less than what it is. And number three, we think of forgiveness as the opposite of what it is.  

I want to explain that, but, as is my practice, I want to give you the scriptures that influence what I'm getting ready to say, so it's not just my opinion. 

MATTHEW 6:9-15
Matthew chapter six, you'll recognize this as the Lord's Prayer. He says, "Our father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors." Some translations will say trespasses. Some will say sins.  

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." And he says, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins."  

I'm not sure we really believe that, but that's what it says.  

MATTHEW 18:15-35
Matthew 18. Verse 18. Jesus says, "Truly, I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven. Whatever you lose on earth will be loosed in heaven." He says, "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on Earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."  

And then we read in verse 21 that "Peter came to Jesus and he asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' And Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but 77 times' or '70 times seven.'" 

Then he tells this parable. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold" — that's 10,000 talents. One talent was worth about 20 years of a day laborer's wages. If my math is correct, we're talking several billion dollars. It's an insane amount. And Jesus is just telling a made up story here to make a point.  

"As he began the settlement, a man who owed him [several billion dollars] was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him: 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt" — didn't say you have to pay it back — he "canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins."

A hundred denarii. A denarius was the usual day wage of a day laborer. A hundred of those. Might we say 10,000 bucks? Still a chunk.

"When that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins," several thousand bucks. "He grabbed him and began to choke him, 'Pay back what you owe me,' he demanded. And his fellow servant fell to his knees" just like he had, "and he begged him, 'Be patient with me and I will pay it back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and they went and told their master everything that had happened. 

"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you?' In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed."  

And then Jesus says this — and again, I don't think we really believe it. Do you believe it? — He says, "This is how my Heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."  

Write in your Bible "true statement?" Put a question mark until you can erase the question mark. True statement?  

"This is how my Heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart." 

1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-5
First Corinthians chapter 13. The Love Chapter. "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs."  

ROMANS 12:9-21
Romans 12 verse nine. "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." Skipping down verse 14, "Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do curse." Verse 17. "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it's possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath for it is written. 'It is mine to avenge. I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him something to drink." (Bless those who persecute you.) "In doing this, you'll heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." 

JOHN 20:21
John chapter 20, Jesus has died, come back to life, and he's spending time with the disciples before ascending and going back to heaven, and he gives them the Holy Spirit. 

Chapter 20 verse 21. "Jesus said, 'Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, I am now sending you.' And with that, he breathed on them and said, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone's sins, their sins are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." 

There's three reasons why we struggle to forgive.

1. WE THINK OF FORGIVENESS AS "FINDING EMOTIONAL RELEASE FROM THE PAIN"
​Number one, we think of forgiveness as more than what it really is.

We tend to think of forgiveness as some magic thing that will erase all memories of the wrong, that will help us to forget, that'll erase the consequences, that will erase the pain. That's not what forgiveness is. You might always remember what you've forgiven. Forgiveness isn't erasing the pain, and often it's not erasing the consequences.  

What I mean is this, if, if you came up to me and you cut off my arm, whether it was an accident or whether you did it on purpose, if you cut off my arm and then came to your senses and you pleaded with me, "Roger, please forgive me. I'm so sorry I did that," I would forgive you. But I still wouldn't have an arm. I would forgive you, but it wouldn't take away the consequence. I would still have the phantom pains. I would still live without an arm, but you would be forgiven. 

They may have broken your heart and then they come back and they ask you to forgive them. And if you think that forgiveness is erasing the pain, that's gonna be pretty difficult because sometimes the heart holds onto those memories. Sometimes the heart continues to feel the pain, and sometimes the relationship has consequences. Sometimes the heart heals, but it heals with a scar just like the rest of our body. And I'm talking figuratively, but it heals with a scar, it doesn't quite, it doesn't have the elasticity, the emotions don't have the elasticity. It doesn't feel quite like it did, but it still functions. And you can say, I forgive you, but it might just be that your heart still feels broken because they, they cut off your arm. They broke your heart.  

But forgiveness is not finding emotional release from the pain. Forgiveness is releasing the person from having to pay you back for the pain. 

You probably won't forget. I mean, to forget something is really not an indication of mental health. You probably won't forget. There are things that I've forgiven people, I remember all the details but I forgive them. You probably won't forget, and you may even still be able to recount the story in a way that brings the pain back for you. I'd advise against that, but it's still possible. But they are forgiven. 

If you think that forgiveness is finding emotional release from the pain, you will spend days and weeks and months and possibly years saying, "I'm just not quite ready to forgive you. I'll get there, I'll forgive you one day, but I'm just not there yet." Because you're waiting for emotional release from the pain, but that's not what forgiveness is. That's more. That's expecting forgiveness to be something it isn't.  

Forgiveness is not finding emotional release from the pain. Forgiveness is releasing the person from having to pay for the pain. 

2. WE THINK OF FORGIVENESS AS "JUST GETTING OVER IT"
The second reason why it's difficult for us to forgive is we think of forgiveness as less than what it really is. 

We think of forgiveness as just looking the other way with a shrug. Apologizing for being offended. "You know, it's okay. Don't, don't worry about it. I just, I overreacted." 

But forgiveness is not looking the other way and just shrugging it off. Forgiveness is looking the offender in the eye. And saying, "That was wrong. That hurt. And I forgive you for it."  

3. WE THINK OF FORGIVENESS AS A "NECESSARY EVIL."
The third reason why we struggle to forgive is we think of forgiveness as the opposite of what it is.  

I'm convinced that most of us — until we check this, like, you're not gonna do this anymore because I'm getting ready to point it out to you, but until we are confronted with this, I think we think of forgiveness as a necessary evil. 

Like, we read what Jesus said about if, if you don't forgive your brother or sister from the heart, then the father's not gonna forgive you. And we go, "Okay, I guess I gotta do it," like a necessary evil. Like somehow it's unjust, it's unfair, that it's just something that we just gotta suck it up and do it, even though it's an awful thing. But, you know, "I guess I'll just, I'll just have to do it." That's the opposite of what forgiveness is.  

That's the opposite of what forgiveness is. 

It's not a harsh prerequisite for being forgiven by God. It's not unjust, it's not unfair. It's not just adding insult to injury, something we just gotta go through. It's not that. 

Forgiveness is not a necessary evil. Forgiveness is love's great power-move to open the prison doors and set the captives free. It's this redemptive relationship that I talked about last week. It's giving ourself in love to the redemption of another, even to the person who's so caught up and imprisoned by sin itself that they would wound you. It's actually stepping in and it's forgiving them. It's breaking the prison doors and letting them out so that they can be redeemed. Forgiveness is love's great power-move to open the prison doors and set the captives free.  

CHOOSE TO FORGIVE — WITH UNDERSTANDING
If we would understand this — if we would understand that forgiveness is not just finding emotional release from the pain, and forgiveness is not just shrugging it off and looking the other way, and forgiveness is not just some necessary evil that we've gotta go through. And if we would remember that forgiveness, chooses to release the person from having to pay back for the pain ,and forgiveness looks the offender in the eye and says, that hurt, that was wrong and I forgive you, and forgiveness is love's great power-move that opens the prison doors and says, "Get out of there! Come and be free! Walk in the light!"  

If we remember these, we would have a better time of forgiving. We would have an easier time of forgiving. It's still, it's a matter of the will. It's a matter of the choice. Forgiveness isn't something you feel. It's something you do. So my challenge, my encouragement to you today: choose it. 

Choose it. Don't wait to feel it. Choose it. If there's anyone in your life that you're holding something against, go to them. Forgive them. Decide that they no longer have to pay back for the hurt. Forgive them. Don't let bitterness come between you and them and don't let bitterness come between you and God. 

Forgive. 

Now we have this assurance in 1st John 1:9 that if any of us confess our sins, God is faithful and just, and he will forgive us our sins.

​That's my encouragement to you. If you've never put your faith in Jesus, do it. Start following him. Just bow your heart to him. Surrender to him and say, okay, "Lord, I'm gonna follow you now and I'm gonna start with this forgiveness. Lord, I confess my sin," and he says, "I forgive you. Now go do likewise." And I would say to you, "Go do likewise."  

I believe this is the word of the Lord. Amen.